David Lopez – Soccer Dads #3

David Lopez – Soccer Dads #3

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It’s tournament time, alright. And what is the one thing you need when you enter a tournament like this? “Heart.” No, that’s only in movies. This is real life. “Foot powder.” What? Not even close. No! The one thing you need, swag. What is that? You know what, I’m pretty sure swag was invented by Ancient Greece. “I don’t think that’s right.” What? I’m really nervous about this tournament, I mean… at least it’s one no one’s heard of so could be easy. Alright kids, we’re here. And we need to make an entrance if this team’s gonna take us serious. So, let’s get our swag on. “I still don’t know what that is.” Okay, just stop. Just stop. Okay, put these glasses on. Put ’em on, everybody grab one. And follow my lead, okay. Alright! Let’s go! Let’s do this! Come on! Jeez! It’s locked! Open it! “Go around!” You guys are right there! Just open it! “Go around!” Okay, okay! I truly believe that we have what it takes to win this tournament. We’ve been through so much as a team. We’ve practiced to the point of exhaustion. We’ve had so many lows… and just a little bit of highs. But I think that this team has what it takes to win it all. That was our goal! You just scored on yourselves! Son of a gun! “Your kid sucks!” “Hey, my kid doesn’t suck. His kid sucks!” “Hey, you know what? Your kid does suck!” “Your kid sucks. Sucks!” “Hey coach, why don’t you learn to do your job?” Why don’t you learn to wipe your butt? “Oh, real mature, coach.” I’ll show you mature… *shouting* You know, things definitely could’ve gone better. Uh, there were some minor setbacks, on and off the field. But I really, I really have confidence in this team that they can overcome this. And at least next week we’ve got the loser’s bracket. Where losers could become champions. Of more losers, you know? And I think we could be the best losers in the world. Hey I thought that gate was closed!

39 thoughts on “David Lopez – Soccer Dads #3”

  1. I'm pretty sure swag was invented by Ancient Greece. I think I remember my philosophy professor teaching us that in class.

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