I once hired a jet ski… – LAUGHING:
– Lie. Forget it. We need to hear no more, David. I once hired a jet ski, but couldn’t work out how to stop it, so I had to buzz around the bay for 50 minutes until it ran out of petrol. I take it back, you did it. I can so imagine you doing that. Absolutely. – Where was this?
– It was in Antigua.
– In Antigua? – Was this in your single lads’ days?
– He never had those days. – It’s your first time on the show, isn’t it?
– It is. – Why were you in Antigua?
– On holiday. Was the Winchester Steam Museum shut? Yes, I arrived at the Winchester Steam Museum and it was shut and so I went straight to Antigua. – When was this?
– Er… I think about two years ago. – And who were you with?
– My, er, wife.
– And what got into your head? I could imagine you renting a sun lounge and opening up a weighty tome. I could imagine that. But I can’t see you saying… MIMICS DAVID: “Now, you relax here. I’m just going to go… LAUGHTER “..and bomb around the bay for a while.” APPLAUSE Were you with your wife on the jet ski or did she stay on dry land? Er, she stayed on dry land. – So you were on your own, going around?
– Yeah. – And it was your idea?
– I just… Look, I thought I’d have a bit of a go. – What were you wearing, David?
– Er…sort of, swimming…shorts. What length were the shorts? Were they sort of Daniel Craig, or…? They weren’t as long as Daniel Craig. – What do you wear?
– Shorts! I said, swimming shorts! They’ve got a pocket. – Wow!
– They’ve got a pocket. They’ve got a pocket and they’ve got netting on the inside to keep everything in order. All right. You jump on, you’re looking back at your wife, “Ha-ha” Look at me!” And then what happens? Well, to be honest, I’m not like, “Ha-ha, look at me” at all, because I must say, as soon as I get going, it becomes immediately apparent to me that I don’t like it. Oh, no! Hang on, hang on. Here’s a big question, then. – You did it until the petrol ran out, you say?
– Yeah. So did you manage to time perfectly that the petrol would run out just as you got back to the jetty? – No.
– So you’re stuck in the middle of the sea?
– Yes. Well, what I didn’t do is head straight out away from the… The point where my plan formed, I thought I’d just go up and down quite near the jetty, thinking I’d be able to swim to the jetty if worst comes to the worst. So what happened? You just kept going, kept going, and then eventually it coughed and spluttered…? – Yeah.
– Talk us through. Well, I kept going and kept going and then eventually, it coughed and spluttered… ..to a halt. – All right. Lee, what are you going to say?
– What do we think?
– I… – You have a great physique.
– LAUGHTER Yeah. You’ve got to warn me before you say things like this! A great physique for what? For maybe, I don’t know, – a game of billiards…or Cluedo…
– Yeah. And I don’t quite think that’s jet skiing is completely your thing. I agree. I don’t think he’s ever even been to Antigua. – So you’re saying lie, you’re saying lie…
– Yes. – I’m going to say that’s a lie.
– You’re saying it’s a lie? – I’ll go with the team.
– David, truth or lie? It is… a lie.