I have 4 children, but soccer is more important. [Hello Counselor/ENG, THA/2019.04.08]

I have 4 children, but soccer is more important. [Hello Counselor/ENG, THA/2019.04.08]

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“A Kicking Concern.” I need a husband from Mokpo. Will you marry me? (The white hoodie couple) Sit over here. Right here. Hello. I have 3 daughters and a 6-month-old son. But I’m only in my 30s. I had my kids early. But there’s one thing my husband does that drives me crazy. “Dear, you’re going again today?” “I have to.” “But it’s raining outside.” “I have to go!” You sounded so manly. You made your voice sound so deep. “But there’s a heat wave today. You’re still going?” (He squints his eyes) I just read this line. You’re on this line. My eyes… You can’t really see? Want my glasses? These should help you see. They’ll improve your vision. I can see now. Let’s start from here. You can see now, right? “Come on! There’s a heat wave today.” “Then I should go out and play today!” My husband is always going out to play soccer. It’s always soccer, soccer, soccer. I want to rip apart all the soccer balls in the world. (Like this?) Ring, ring. “Dear, our kid has her talent show. Where are you?” “I’m playing soccer.” “Don’t make excuses today.” “I know you don’t have a game today. You have no games.” “I have admin work to do for the soccer league.” Oh, boy… The more kids we have, the more time he spends on soccer. Even the moment I had my fourth child. The moment she had him? That’s pretty bad. “I think I have to go.” “I just gave birth. Where are you going?” “It’s not like I gave birth.” (Unbelievable) (Someone, tell us that’s a lie) “I’ll just go play one game of soccer.” This is making me angry. He went to play soccer after every child I had. Gosh… Should I just kick my husband to the curb? That’s what she wrote to us. You were acting, but what made you angry? – As a man… / – All of it. But I’ve been in a baseball league for 30 years. I skip days when I shouldn’t go. And I used to always take my daughter to my games. I bet that was hard on your daughter. (Oops…) Let’s bring this person in. (A mother of 4 with a soccer-obsessed husband!) (She looks so young!) (Park Sua) What a surprise. She looks so young yet has 4 kids. – Yeah. / – Welcome. You’re really a mother of 4 children? Yes. I have a 10-year-old, a 9-year-old, a 4-year-old and a 6-month-old. How old were you when you got married? I got married at 23. That’s how I spent my 20s. My husband has been playing soccer for 10 years. Before I had my fourth child, he promised he’d change and help out more. But he still goes to play soccer. I bet Dongyeob has a question about this. (Time for my question!) He’s so busy and obsessed with soccer, yet you keep having kids. (Why do you keep having kids?) We planned on having 3 kids. Our 4th child was unplanned. What happened on that day? (Why would you ask that?) How much does he play soccer? He basically plays all week long. – Not just on weekends? / – Right. He plays soccer on the weekdays after working late. He’s out all day on the weekends. Does he have a job related to soccer? No. His job is completely unrelated to soccer. He works at a hospital. – It’s an office job. / – That’s totally unrelated. Yes, it’s totally unrelated. There’s a soccer club at the hospital and he’s part of a different team. He’s a coach too. And he’s also a board member in the league. He’s totally obsessed. So he doesn’t have much time for us. When I played your husband earlier… He went to go play when you were giving birth? No, after I gave birth. Right after. You refer to your husband formally. He plays soccer avidly. He serves as a board member. I don’t think he considers that. Do you always refer to him like that? I refer to him formally outside our home. – Always? / – Yes. But at home… “Hey, you.” So you’re just being polite since you’re out now? When he says he’s going out to play soccer… – When you’re angry. / – When you’re angry. Why not take more drastic measures? I’ve left home once. But I couldn’t stay out long because of my kids. How could he be so bold about it? Let’s meet this bold husband. This is ridiculous. Let’s talk to him now. Mokpo husband. (All this guy cares about is soccer?) He looks like a good soccer player. So you heard all that. Do you understand your wife? I feel bad that she has to raise 4 kids. But I wish she could be more understanding of me. Soccer is therapeutic for me. What do you want her to be understanding of? About me playing soccer. But you play so often. There are a lot of people like me – in Mokpo, Jeolla-do. / – A lot? There are many men in Mokpo with 4 kids that play soccer all week long? Did you or did you not promise to help out more? I did… Then why didn’t you keep your promise? I’m the chairman in my soccer league. I’m also a coach for the Mokpo team. We have 33 teams in the Mokpo league with around 1,500 members that I manage. I do all the admin work for our league. Also, I can’t say no when the head chairman asks me to do this stuff. (Sigh…) Yet you refuse when your wife asks for something. Why can’t you say no to your league? I’m good at saying no when it’s my wife. That’s true… At least you admit it. This is part of my social life. I see it as the foundation of my friendships. What do you think you gain from being so active in that league? I got my wife a job running a coffee shop. And I stop by with the members for coffee. (Pfft!) You bring the league members to drink coffee? (Oh, come on) Do the members help with the sales? No. (Of course that isn’t helpful) When he shows up with his colleagues because of soccer… He’s like, “Bring us some coffee.” And I give them coffee for free. – Without payment? / – For free? Why would she charge my colleagues? (Disbelief) They should help raise her sales. (About to lose her respect for him) So do you have a job too? I have 4 kids, so I started working to help out any way I can. Whenever I’m tired after work my husband says, “Try making as much as I do.” – He said that to you? / – Yes. You actually said that to her? When we fight and she tells me to watch the kids, I tell her she should earn as much as I do. What’s wrong with that? (How frustrating!) I’m sure he spends a lot going out like that. He spends $500 to $700 on food and alcohol. – Just on himself? / – Yes. One time he bought $700 soccer cleats. $700 cleats… Sometimes I think he has lost his mind. Let me explain that. A lot of people like soccer cleats more than I do. In Mokpo. In Mokpo… $700 on cleats is nothing in Mokpo? Yes, that’s nothing. I didn’t even… Keep going. I didn’t spend that much for food and alcohol. As a coach, I have to manage my players. I have to take them out for dinner and drinks. That way they’ll come out to play on Sundays. Your wife says your credit card bill is $700 a month. How much is the most you’ve spent when using the card yourself? I don’t use my credit card. – I pay in cash. / – Cash? Around $1,500 to $2,000. (This generous coach spends $1,500 to $2,000) Did you know about this? No, I didn’t know he spent that much. Where do you get the cash from? Behind my wife’s back… In secret? He has a secret stash. Didn’t you feel bad going to play soccer right after your wife gave birth? Of course I felt bad. That makes me angrier. He admits to everything. He just speaks his mind. Of course he felt bad. I did feel bad… But I was in a great mood. I wanted to go tell everyone. “I just had a kid.” That’s why I went to play soccer. “I just had a kid! Time to go play soccer!” Like that? It’s not like that. There really wasn’t a need for me to be there. (I didn’t need to be there) A husband should stay by his wife’s side. You shouldn’t say you weren’t needed there. “I’m not the one that gave birth.” Did you really say that to her? It’s not like you were going to work. That’s not true. – It isn’t? / – Yes. He didn’t say, “I’m not the one that gave birth.” He said it should be alright for him to leave since he didn’t give birth. – Since he didn’t give birth. / – Right. That’s the same thing. – That’s the same thing. / – Right. “I didn’t give birth.” Did you really say that? Yes. How could you say something so mean? Does he help out with the kids when he doesn’t play soccer? She wanted to ask that so badly she cut me off. You didn’t even let him answer, Eunbi. – I got angry. / – You were just angry, right? Punch your pillow. (This is the best way for venting) Yeah, you need to vent your frustrations. Eunbi, go. Does he watch the kids at home? He does… With just his eyes. He simply observes them. His eyes do all the watching. When my husband gets home, I tell him to watch the kids while I take a shower. Not even 10 minutes later, he’ll burst into the bathroom with one of the kids while I’m showering if they start crying. He opens the door while I’m showering. He can’t even watch the kids for 10 minutes? (Embarrassed) Let’s meet the kids. Oldest daughter. Does your dad play with you guys, Soyeon? No. Do you want to play soccer with your dad? No. I hate soccer. Then what do you want to do with your dad? With my dad? I don’t want to do anything with him. It feels awkward with my dad. He isn’t home often. It’s awkward because he’s never at home. Already at only 10 years old… Soyeon, have you ever told your dad not to go out and play soccer? Yes, a lot of times. And what did your dad say each time? He says he has to go. And he leaves. It’s not like he’s called on to serve the nation. When were you the most upset with your dad? When he’s on his phone all the time at home and tells me to watch my siblings. Your siblings? She’s only 10 years old… (How could he ask a kid to do that?) Let’s talk to the second daughter. Hi! – Hello. / – Hello. You don’t have to talk like that. So when were you the most upset with your dad? When he won’t play with me. When he won’t play with you. He’s always on his phone… He’s on his phone at home and won’t play with you? Yes. Do you want to play soccer with your dad? Yes. Really? She still enjoys soccer. Have you ever seen your dad play soccer? Yes. – Is he good? / – Yes. – He’s good? / – Yes! (Yes, my dad is good at soccer) Oldest daughter, have you ever seen him play soccer? – Yes. / – Is he good? No. (Totally the opposite!) Is your dad good at soccer? Yes. So cute… Oldest daughter. Is your dad good at soccer? No. Is your dad good at soccer? No. Do you have separate dads? What’s going on? – How can we confirm this? / – Yeah, how… Can we see a little demo? We can have him dribble a ball. I’m not that good… – All of a sudden? / – I’m not good. Come on stage. Show us. (Welcome to the Hello Counselor league) Face forward. (He starts juggling right away!) (It’s second nature to him) 4, 5, 6… (He’s been in his soccer league for 18 years!) (Wow, Dad is so good) (His body reacts instinctively to the ball) That’s pretty good. Try something else. Let me try to steal the ball. Get past me. (Get past Taegyun!) (Will he do it?) (Easily) (That move looked familiar) (It’s the way Messi dribbles) (Nobody can stop me) (Wow) (That was nothing) (Sheesh) You’re always practicing your moves… Tell us about your girls. What’s the oldest good at, and what’s the second one good at? Do you know a lot about your kids? My oldest… She manages well on her own. What about your second girl? She’s a bit more high-maintenance. Be more specific. Tell us about your daughters. What do you think your oldest wants for a birthday present? Books. She asks for books. – She likes books. / – yes. Soyeon, what do you want from daddy? A slime monster. It’s a slime monster… (Sheesh, daddy) (Kids love slime monsters) Then what does your second daughter want? She likes toys. What kind of toy? Dolls. Hold on. Did you see her face? She was like, “I’m too old for toys.” (Her disappointed face says it all) So cute! (This isn’t easy) Alright, let’s get more serious. What’s your oldest daughter’s dream? To be a teacher. How about your second daughter? A doctor? Oldest daughter, what’s the answer? Tell us. I want to be a crime scene investigator. Second daughter, how about you? A chef! – Wrong, Daddy! / – You were wrong about both. (What a bad father…) (Sheesh, how frustrating…) You’re in 3 soccer leagues for the connections. You even do the administrative tasks. Is someone here to speak on your behalf? Most likely. It’s Sunday today. My buddy was supposed to come today. – But they’re all playing soccer? / – Yes. Do you have anyone to speak on your behalf? My younger sister. – Your sister? / – Yes. Do you feel bad for your older sister? Yes, I feel bad for her. She got married at a young age. I always regret that I didn’t try to stop her. My brother-in-law is young, but he’s a bit old-fashioned. My sister and my nieces have long hair. He won’t let them cut their hair. – My gosh… / – Why? He thinks men and women should be a certain way. Geez, give me a break. He won’t let them cut their hair. He won’t let them wear skirts above the knees. If my sister tries to wear something see-through… “What are you wearing? Get changed immediately.” He says that. (Getting worse the more we hear) How about housework? I told him that he should help out around the house, but he said that’s a woman’s job. That’s what he said. (I just don’t get this guy) – Really? / – Yes. Then… Geez… I have to ask because I can’t believe my ears. – Sir. / – Yes. Why do all girls have to have long hair? A girl isn’t a girl unless she has long hair. (Please, Dad) (Such an outdated thing to say) (Things suddenly get tense) (Why, I ought to…) I bet you hated seeing Ahn Junghwan play soccer with long hair. (Do you want to get kicked?) (Nice one, Yeongja) Do you think of yourself as a square? About your views on men and women… In society… I don’t discriminate. But I’m the head of my household. But you’re never at home. But still… The bread winner is a family-man loser. (The bread winner is family-man loser) I don’t know much about soccer. But soccer has old styles and modern styles. I heard the techniques and strategy change often. It changes every era. It changes every year. Sometimes it’s all about defense. You can’t win games if you play the old way, right? Yes… That’s why I’m asking you that. Even with soccer, you have to give up the old ways and adapt to the new to win games. Why is your thinking so old-fashioned for people? You’re living in a modern era. (Why are you so old-fashioned?) Oh… You make changes for soccer. That really surprises me about you. (She has a point) We can all endure hardships mutually. But it’s not right to be so selfish and make another accept your way of thinking. What would you like your husband to do? How do you want him to change? I know he’s not going to quit playing soccer even if I ask him to. I know he’ll keep playing. But our youngest was born not long ago. Just tell him honestly what you want. Just twice a week. – Spend time twice a week with the family? / – Yes. (She really isn’t asking for much) How does that sound? Your wife is asking you. The reason I’m hesitating is because after a day of work at the hospital, I come home the next day. (Making a long excuse) We’ll give you some time to reply then. This is pretty sudden. But before you make a decision, I’ll let your wife speak her mind. Honey… I know you’ve tried your best… To be a father over the last 10 years. (She ends up teary-eyed) She’s really held it in. It’s been hard on you. But our kids are still young. (Her kids are her first priority) So spend some more time with them. Make more memories with them. So if you can cut down on your hobby, I’d really appreciate that. (Applause to encourage the mother) (It makes me sad when my mom cries) You said you can’t say no to others, so here it is. Spend two days a week with your family. Start. Two days… A week! One more time. Two days… A week! You said yourself that you can’t say no to others. Alright, what’s your decision? I… (Fixated on the husband) I promise to help out around the house and watch the kids more. (Is he really going to change?) So how about I spend one day a week with the family? (He hasn’t come around yet) (Second daughter is disappointed) We’re not going to let this end here. We won’t let you go home. – She even cried before. / – Yes. I’ve been in a baseball league for 30 years. This is my advice to you. You’re worrying all alone that your team can’t run without you. The rest of them don’t worry so much about that. Someone else can be chairman if you don’t do it. And be a coach… The team will be fine even if you miss a day. But a family without the head of the household is a ship without a captain. What do you think? Are we asking too much? I’ll stay home on Tuesdays. I’ll come straight home from work no matter what. (So he’ll only leave one day free?) And I’ll try to come home earlier on weekends to spend time with the kids and take them out. – You’ll spend time with your family? / – Yes. Alright then. (We hope he’ll keep to his promise) Let’s start with Giant Pink. It’s a concern. (Minju thinks it’s a concern!) As for me, I’m not married yet… You scared us! We thought you were going to say you’re married! We thought it was, “As someone who’s married…” – You startled us. / – I’m not… But if I were your daughter, I know I’d remember this when I’m older. So spend some more time with your kids and try to focus more on your wife. At least twice a week, you should spend time with your family. I really don’t understand how you can’t say no to others, but you don’t obey your own wife. I just don’t get that. If you think it’s been hard on her for the last 10 years, please press the button! (Please send your concerns to our website) Time’s up! Show us how many votes she got. – “A kicking concern.” / – I bet it’s a big number. Of course it’s over 100 votes. 151? 161? 161! (161 votes)

85 thoughts on “I have 4 children, but soccer is more important. [Hello Counselor/ENG, THA/2019.04.08]”

  1. Why do I feel like the guest finds it hard to put forward their opinions. Like I can see their frustration but it’s just they don’t say it . And what a shitbag of a father that guy is

  2. Having 4 kids were really hard ,
    Hey daddy you need to take your time with your lovely kids , control yourself playing too much soccer, 💕family is life

  3. When korean society pressures people to marry that don’t want to it ends up like this people get married for social acceptance but it truth it’s not for them korea should focus on their society being more individualized than always a collective mindset

  4. What an awful man to be married to. I know divorce isn’t something to be praised in Korea but…this man is a helpless manchild lol

  5. Get a divorce honestly and find a guy that respects you , that wants to be a family and share responsibilities. I would hate to live my life like that.

  6. Honestly he is just like my father. I hate guys like him . His daughters will probably hate him when they grow up too .

  7. Youngja coming thru with the wisdom like always. But anyway,I feel so bad for the wife. I wonder how he behaved when they were just dating. Did he turned this way after marriage or was he really nice and loving before. Or was she just so blinded by love that she didn't see the signs that he thought this way and would be like he is now.

  8. Does he thinks his wife is a baby machine or something? No remorse, no guilt, no sadness and all that long excuses. She and her kids deserve better happiness than to live with a guy like him.

  9. ask someone to kick his ass off. such an ignorant person. he said that he is the head of the family but he is not actually being a husband not only as a bread winner but also as a person that taking care and always there for the family. arghhhh i cant understand him. btw his wife is so beautiful he should appreciate her

  10. Can she just divorce him? Live a good life with her kids. If he likes the soccer and let him live with the soccer and let him realize that soccer can’t make him feel what family feels are.
    Being patriarchy and his ideology so old fashion and bad.
    Being housewives and working are hard too. Not only man who works and bring money who get tired. Women who takes care house and kids also handwork too.

  11. that doesn't mean that housewife as do everything of coures husband should also help it's not like that and how could you say woman has to do all the house work 😡😡😡😡😡😡

  12. am not being harsh but still i have to say tis..

    U R SUCH A DISGRACE TO MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    mann….im so angry at tis one!!!! shame!!!!!!! feel ashamed to see tat he's one of our species!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    my solution for tis….. get divorce so the wife and the rest of the family can live the life they deserve! he doesn't deserve to have a family!!!!!!!!

  13. Honey, she didn't make those children with her finger. Stop this soccer nonsense and be a proper husband and father.

  14. The problem is not soccer. The problem is he is compromising himself as if he did not have a family to look after.

  15. SK is another country that needs to stop the marriage/baby pressure and stop stigmatizing being a single parent because it makes people more likely to stay in a toxic and/or abuse relationship especially if there are kids. It should be seen as irresponsible of a parent to stay in that environment or someone without kids. Bad or abusive spouses or parents (siblings and grandparents too) should be shamed and demanded to do better (with actions not empty words) instead of people trying to coax the other person or kids to be “more understanding”. I think doing so will have a better overall change. Sometimes divorce is the only way to save people and the kids because a lot of the issues on the show could lead to tragedy, avoidable health problems or further mental/emotional damage.

  16. He'll be regretting when his daughters on their age to play along with their own life because he never spends time with them.

  17. Please watch the return of superman. Watch especially sian's father. He has 5. This man needs help. My dad has 8 of us and is a footballer(my country soccer is football) and he is always there. He will miss matches or carry us. But still comes home help my mom cook,clean and take care of us . That man need a wake up call

  18. I don't agree with "ALL MEN ARE TRASH" but the husband is definitely one! As a woman, I hate this kind of man.

  19. Does Korean not have a word for wife apart from 'Jib-saaram'? That literally translates to person at home.
    In olden days, and in rural areas in India, people use something very similar for wife 'Ghar-waali', but it has masculine version as well 'Ghar-waala'. Otherwise, Hindi has a dedicated word for wife which is Patni.
    Want to know if that's the same case in Korean too.
    The term 'Jib-saaram' reeks patriarchy.

  20. I can't believe how selfish he is that the concept of spending just 2 days home (not even full weekend days, she was willing to let him pick) was too much to consider. He isn't going to change and I fear that the family will end up just learning how to do without him, even if they don't get a divorce. And when the girls grow up they won't care to listen to their father because he never took the time to build a relationship with them.

  21. He's a horrible person. He isn't even willing to compromise on ANYTHING. He behaves like a damn child. One week a day with the family???? OMG. He needs to grow tf up and be there for his family. He should be ashamed.

  22. He's trash. Throw the whole man away sis.

    He probably married a younger impressionable woman just so he could impose his patriarchal views and essentially do whatever he wants without consequence… She and their children deserve much better.

    She's gorgeous and compassionate and he's inconsiderate and basic.. boy bye.

  23. She is beautiful, caring, patient and all I see about her is kindness. I know I shouldn't wish this for someone but… I hope she marries to a man who can be a good life-time friend for her

  24. He is so childish and immature to the point that I want to erase him from my mind and forget about his soccer lover ass

  25. Ehem sir I’m a girl and I have short hair like a guy!! You gone call meh les for that or a disgrace??!! Cus if u do, I might as well kick a soccer ball to ur head!!

  26. man youngja better drop some book about life soon. The way she connected football with his outdated thinking was pure genius

  27. No entiendo entonces porque se casó y para colmo tener hijos! Y para colmo tiene el descaro decir que las mujeres deben ser así o aza, solo por ser mujeres. Si yo fuera su esposa hace rato que lo hubiera dejado, le hubiera pedido una foto y adiós, ya que él hace lo mismo que una foto, nada.. Que horror de hombre! Además si juega tanto el fútbol por lo menos debería tener mejor cuerpo si hace tanto ejercicio, pero no. ✌️🇪🇸🇲🇽✌️

  28. His life seems to revolve around escaping from his family. Foolish, pitiful person. If only he realized how great his life could be by getting involved with his beautiful family, helping out, teaching his girls to play soccer, etc. Life goes by too fast. Find a mentor who has a healthy family life to help you before it's too late.

  29. Is it just me or does it seem like there is at least one couple per Hello Counselor episode where the husband is paternalistic and selfish? Like without fail, variations of the same exact story keep playing out.

  30. i'd ask the husband to get a divorce if i was her. "tried your best to be a father." he looks like he doesn't even try.

  31. Gosh! I have had short hair all my life and you say a girl should have long hair to be a girl?! What is wrong with this guy!

  32. I get so triggered watching these type of videos. That woman should get a divorce. He's not gonna change. He can't use "soccer" as an excuse for not spending time with his family. He has four beautiful children and he should make use of that. Children aren't going to be children forever, and before they hold a grudge towards him, he should definitely fix whatever the heck he is doing.

  33. I know she's enduring this because of their kids, she's so brave tbh I would've divorced a man like this, I hope he can change

  34. As a coach, he can manage his team. Doing his role.

    But as a father and a husband, he hasn't fulfilled what his truly role is, be a lead and be part of the family.

  35. Mohon maap ni yak , gak tahan mau ngerant tapi pake bahasa indo aja biar gampang wkwkwkwk ni suaminya cuma bisa netnot bikin anak doank tapi kaga ada tanggung jawabnya samsek udah pikirannya masih kek orang dijaman jahiliyah njaay. etdah pengen gua berkata kasar tapi ah.. sudahlah

  36. I've never wished harder for Jessi to be on an episode of Hello Counselor. She would've fought that husband on TV, to be honest.

  37. I dnt know if i got it wrong but the fathers reaction at the end, when he saw the score, i think he wants to say AWESOME! he is really something!! coz i think a high score means the situation is not good??? Correct me if am wrong….

  38. Divorce his ass… I wanna say that but I know child support isn’t the most stable… I hope she figures it out though

  39. A Girl has to have long hair I'm a girl and I have SHORT hair Sir if I see you disrespecting women or your family like that you gonna feel Harm and Pain
    And Why would you disrespect the women who survived birth having your four kids the least you can do is help around the house or let your wife have a break from all the work c'mon now

  40. every guy has their stash they hide from their wives lmao. Who has their own special pillow where they hide their money inside

  41. This dude and his rules are like my dads rules in the house with what women show do and what they shouldn’t…..so I rebel and do what makes me me and the sad thing is he can’t remember my siblings or my ages or our birthdays

  42. if i were to be his wife, i wouldnt have came to Hello Counselor, i wouldve handled it myself. if he really thought he could talk freely and confidently like that, it better not be with me 🤣.

  43. This guy is such trash. He really sat there in front of his daughters and basically said that they weren’t important enough to warrant TWO DAYS a week. I cannot believe.

    Conversely, Haon is such a good and sweet boy. It really warmed my heart when he said he couldn’t understand how the husband couldn’t say no to other people, but could say no to his wife. The next generation is looking bright.

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